Archive for the 'Strange things people do' Category

Dog’s ass, Communication fialure.

I was recently hired by a couple to take some photos of them so they could have some nice casual shots of them and their dog to have out at their wedding. We had a nice shoot at a few different locations outside on a steamy summer morning. After the shoot was done, I was communicating with them via e-mail discussing which photos they wanted to have prints of, and specific touch-ups and changes that they wanted to see. This was from one of the e-mails she sent me requesting a touch-up:

“One more…can i see photo 36 in color and if you can photoshop the dogs butt out of the picture please. ”

So I looked up Photo 36, and this is what I saw…..


Well, what could I say? They were paying me for this work, and if she wanted me to remove the dogs butt…..I guess I needed to try to remove the Dogs butt. It was strange and probably not something I would advertise in the future, but hey, who I am to question what they want? So I got to work and proceeded to remove the offending area from the poor dog. This was my first attempt:


I then decided that maybe it would look better with black hair, so I came up with this:


This is the e-mail I sent to her:

Ok, so I have to admit that I’ve never removed the butt from a dog (or anything for that matter) before. Let me know if this is what you are looking for.
I also removed the grass from his back, touched up your eyes a little, and brightened up the smiles a hair.
I had trouble making it look right with the brown fur, so I also included a black version of your dog as well.

That is also cropped to 11×14 ratio.

:) It looks like G’s smiling in that pic because his dog has no butt.


Then she wrote back:

that is the wrong picture.

i am talking about he one where we are by the cliff and the dog is walking away….g and I are the only ones near the cliff.

too funny.

After another e-mail, I found out this is the photo she meant:
(note the dog walking away over the guys shoulder)


And this was what she was looking for:


“What we’ve got here, is failure to communicate!”


Travel Advise

Golden tip:
Travel is much less expensive and stressful if you make sure to book your flight for the correct day.
I’m still going to make it out there tonight, but it would seem the dumb ass who booked the flight booked the right flight number as the rest of the group….but was off by a day.
That dumb ass was me….

I’m in the process of getting everything re-booked. More to come.

Just an April Fool


Most people would say that their birthday, or Christmas is their favorite day of the year, but for me none of those compare to April first. I’ve written about some of my April Fools day shenanigans on this blog before, and I thought I might share this year’s festivities.

Background: There are a lot of organizational changes that are going on at my job right now, and because of that there is some uncertainty and also some very delicate moves and changes that are happening right now in the group I’m a part of. Delicate…changes…. sounds like a good target for a joke! The changes that I’m referring to go something like this: A group of several managers, including mine, are all changing jobs and moving into each others positions. They are calling it a “manger rotation”, and it is somewhat delicate because the managers are moving in to spots they are not familiar with, and will be relying heavily on the support structure (people in positions like mine) to make the transition smooth. When they first announced this, the effective date was to be April 1st…. How could I resist a setup like that? That’s like tossing a great big cream puff slow pitch right over the plate. You have to expect me to swing for the fences. So I did.

Step one: build your team.
For this joke I enlisted the other 2 supervisors who work with me (Shannon and Terrance). The three of us would be expected to keep the daily business running while the new manager gets up to speed. We all agreed that if we could pull this off, making our manager and director believe we were all leaving the company would have a devastating effect. Fortunately for me, Shannon and Terrance both agreed to join me in the prank. The next step was somewhat critical to making this believable, and that step was to get our HR generalist in on the game.

Step 2: the set up
You can’t just do something on April first and expect to have people believe you. People have their guard up and will smell it coming from a mile away. So you have to start setting some of the wheels in motion before the actual prank. Also, the more people that are involved, the less likely your target is to think that it’s just a joke. To bring these elements together, on March 31st, near the end of the day, I booked a conference room and sent out a meeting request to the 3 supervisors, HR,my boss, and his boss. My boss sent me an instant message asking what the meeting was for, and I made him sweat a little bit. I just said that the supervisors needed to discuss some of the upcoming changes. He seemed uneasy when I didn’t explain everything to him. I usually over communicate, and don’t hold anything back, so being quiet and vague added to the mystery and confusion. I’m sure having HR and his boss on the meeting invite added to the effect.

Step 3: game plan
The supervisors all made sure we were on the same page. We came up with a good cover story as to why we were leaving and came up with a few details so we would have the same story. HR ended up not being able to go to the meeting, but we didn’t let anyone else know that until the meeting started. :) We printed up and signed a letter of resignation and went into the meeting.

We went into the room as stone faced as we could. I told the boss men that we had some things we needed to discuss, and we would like them to read our letter and then answer any questions. This is what they got:

Microsoft Word - April 01.doc

If all of this was true it would have thrown a major wrench into a lot of different things. It would have messed things up in more ways that I can even explain in this blog post. It wouldn’t be so much about us leaving as how it would effect (stop?) all of the fragile changes that were in the works. Those changes would effect 4-5 departments and potentially over 100 people.

I was hoping for maybe 1-2 mins of them buying the story as the best case. Worst case would be my boss saying “About damn time! We have been trying to figure out how to get rid of you guys.” :) We had these guys going for about 5 mins! They asked a few questions about who the company was (AFD Technology) and how we thought the team would respond to the mass resignations. All 3 supervisors added to the layers of BS. My boss as quiet as he normally is, and the director you could see was keeping his cool, but pretty upset.

After about 5 mins you could see the light came on for my boss. He had a big smile on his face and said something to the effect of : I just have to ask, it is April first, is this whole thing a joke?” When I admitted that AFD Technology was April Fools Day Tech…. the look of relief on both of their faces was followed by the whole room laughing. We got them! Hook line and sinker.

Chalk up one more unsuccessful April Fools Day!

Mega Millions

I’m going for it!!!
I’m going to be one of the mildless millions who rush at the last sececond at a 1 in 170 million chance of winning over 350million bucks.
Wish me luck!

If I win…. the next post will be of me with two well endowed simi naked girls on each shoulder smoking a One Hundred dollar bill and drinking Champaign.

Update: here it is… think happy thoughts!

mega millions

2nd update….
sigh… I know Keni and a few of her friends were excited about being some of the half naked girls in my 370 million dollar lotto winning post…. but ’twas not to be!!! Not only did I not win 375 million bucks…. I didn’t match one single number. 5 picks…. zero numbers.


mega millions

Dallas Mavericks vs Miami Heat Game 1 NBA Playoffs. Zach and John’s stupid pill

The American Airlines Center before NBA finals Game One.  Mavs vs. Heat

Well, what a night! If nothing else my friends and I found our way into an evening that yielded at least two or three good stories that we will be telling over drinks for years to come.

Part One: John’s Stupid Pill

So John, like most people in Dallas right now, is a pretty big Mavs fan. He went to several of the playoff games so far and even when we were in Mexico he made sure we got to see the playoffs on TV. Right after Dallas won the series with Phoenix he bought 8 lower level tickets to Game One of the NBA Finals (Dallas vs. Miami). The only problem was that he paid top dollar (he threatened me with my life if I were to reveal the amount…). Not only did he pay top dollar, but the idea was to sell most of them off so that he could go to the game for free. Well…. To make a pretty long story short, he bought at the peak of demand and paid way too much for the tickets if he hoped to be able to sell and make any money. So much so that it didn’t look like he would even be able to get his money back (not even half). Ouch. In true John style, he decided that if he was hosed on the deal, he might as well eat the whole thing and take all of his friends to the game to have a night to remember. WHOOOHOOOO. So John’s stupid pill results in Zach going to the game for free with his buddies.

Part Two: Zach’s Stupid Pill

Those of you who follow this blog know that I love to take pictures and almost always have a camera with me. I thought it would be fun to get some good pics of all of us at the game, and maybe some game shots, so I took the Canon XT to the game. At the security checkpoint they said the lens on my camera was too big, and that I would have to check the camera at the security station. Well dayum (that’s Texan for Damn)! While following the security guard over to the station, I was sweet talking BIG TIME. I was pulling out every trick in the book, and was making progress!!! She was softening up and I thought I had a chance at getting her to let take the camera in. Sadly, it was not meant to be. I ended up having to check the camera. From there we went to our seats and watch a great first half of the Mavs game. Dallas came back from being behind, and went into the half ahead. The energy and atmosphere at the game was great, and I was right there with my buddies at the very first Mavs finals game ever. Well, things were about to change for me.

Right at the half Rob reminded me of a half baked plan that I dreamt up to get my camera back. Me being me (read: being dumb) thought I’d give it a shot. So I walked down to the desk where I had to check my camera and tried to implement “The Plan”. The plan was to tell them that I had to leave early, snag my camera, and go back to my seat. I thought if they asked to escort me out, I would be fine since I had my ticket and could just run over to another entrance and get back in. Bingo Bango, I’d be back in the game with my camera.
The Plan didn’t exactly go as I had hoped it would. I walked in and told them that I had to leave early. They very politely gave me my bag back and then escorted me out one of the side doors. No worries, this scenario was worked into The Plan. I walked around to another entrance and gave them my ticket to scan. They scan the ticket and the scanner mad this REALLY bad sound. A sound that said to me “Z, I think you are screwed”. It knew the ticket had already been scanned, made the sound and had all sorts of things flashing on the screen. I soon learned, as I tried this at every entrance, that without a hand stamp and a stamp on my ticket there was no way they would let me back in. I sweet talked, asked nicely…did everything that I could do to try to work my way back in for the second half. Zero luck. That part wasn’t in “The Plan”.

Zach kicked out of the game, walking back to Hooters

It wasn’t all bad though. I walked down the hill about a half of a mile to Hooters and watched the second half in there. It was packed with rowdy Mavs fans and was a good place to be. Not as good as in my free seat….but good none the less.