Dear Al Gore

I think you are right about this whole global warming thing. Really, who can deny it? Today I write this to you from Dallas where we the high temp is 36 degrees colder than our historical average high temperature, and the high is also 20 degrees colder than our average (yes i wrote that correctly).Parts of the area are getting snow in April for the first time in recorded history as we move from one of our coldest winters on record into what appears to be a cold spring as well. These are clearly signs of the global warming pandemic.

Also I wanted to thank you. I can’t imagine how cold it would be today if it wasn’t for your 20 room house using 221,000kWh of electricity each year; that’s 20 times the national average right? In fact, in one month that’s almost tripple what I can burn through in a whole year. Thanks for making me look like the greenest environmentalist around! How cold would it be without your oven of a house keeping us warm? Also, your strategic use of CO2 to insulate us by using over $1000 per month on average of natural gas also really might have saved us all from this Global Warming Pandemic.

Thanks Al!

4 Responses to “Dear Al Gore”


  • Dear Zach,
    Good thing you did your part by leaving your heater off. Also don’t for get that temperature data will fluctuate. The important thing is to look at the overall trend, not what happened this year or last. It will be interesting to see responding arguments about global warming given the colder then average year.

    PS. I sell your car, ride a bike, move to the country, live in a tent, poop in a hole, don’t shave, hunt and grow your own food. Oh wait we already did some of that!

  • It was just an off hand post, but I find it funny just the same. The Earth has been warming naturally for the past 10,000 years (thus we are no longer in the ice age…. which is a good thing if you ask me). You are right Blake, temps do go up and down from year to year. We had one of our hottest summers a few years ago, followed by a pretty mild one. But what cracks me up is that on the super cold winters like our country just had, nobody ever really says anything. But the first time this year that Chicago hits 101, the news will be like they always are “another effect of global warming….we can look forward to more of this thanks to global warming”. More than that, the hypocrisies of screaming Al Gore just drives me crazy. He thinks the government shouldn’t allow us to have incandescent light bulbs because of the extra power and CO2 emissions they cause, but it’s ok for him to have a huge house that uses more than 20 times the power (and thus CO2) that the average American uses. It’s also ok for him to fly all over the country on a private jet that burns several hundred lbs. of fuel every hour and much more CO2 per person than if he flew commercial or just drove. It’s OK for him to use 100 times as much energy and CO2 as the rest of us, but it’s us that need to be limited and controlled further?

  • I just mowed the yard in the snow….
    First time in April…and the first time in my whole life.
    Crazy!

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